Man-Tastic Humor
Definition of Man-Tastic
man-tas-tic
-adjective
1. "That bad-fanny masculine feeling you get after completing some macho feat."
2. "Used as a description of all things exceptionally manly"
Examples:
"That dude has a twelve foot television, a 10 car garage, and a zip line in his house - that's one man-tastic pad!"
"I felt pretty man-tastic after downing a 2 liter of coke and 4 whole pizzas"
"Saving those three Ethiopian kids from that huge bear was a pretty man-tastic feat! I love you man."
"Chuck Norris is Man-Tastic"
Feeling Mantastic?
Are you feeling Mantastic today?
Manly Things - Every Dude Should Know How To Do
1. Change a car tire
2. Build a campfire
3. Pitch a tent (a proper one fellas, watching porn does NOT count)
4. Fire a gun with moderate accuracy
5. Down a pint of beer in one gulp
6. Sharpen a knife
7. Train a dog
8. Powerslide a car round a corner
9. Paint a room
10. Mix concrete
11. Cut down a tree
12. Fix faulty wiring and light fittings
13. Change car oil and filter
14. Paddle a canoe
15. Set up an XBox on a HDTV
16. Steal your neighbours cable and/or WIFI connection
17. Read a map WITHOUT using a SatNav
18. Throw a mean left/right hook
19. Take a mean left/right hook
20. Cook a meal that isn't beans on toast
21. Climb a mountain
22. Fillet a fish
23. Survive a shopping trip with your wife/girlfriend
24. Complete an army assault course
25. Survive on a desert island (Wilson volleyball is optional)
26. Go hiking for the weekend
27. Hold your own in a boxing ring
28. Survive a bear attack
29. Be able to bend it like Beckham
30. Fix a leaking pipe
31. Host a successful BBQ
32. Win a steak eating contest
33. Bet (and win) on a horse/dog race
34. Beat (at least) one of your friends at arm wrestling
35. Hit the bell on the strength contest at the local carnival (you know, the one where you have to swing the hammer)
36. Work out to get functional strength - not to look good!
37. Put out a fire
38. Go fishing with the fellas and actually catch something
39. Read a book - anything by Andy McNab is acceptable
40. Put up a shelf/bookshelf
41. Demonstrate nunchuck skills
42. Tie a Windsor knot
43. Install hardware/software onto your PC or Mac
44. Tarmac a driveway
45. Dance while holding a pint of beer (and not spilling the beer)
46. Walk home drunk from the pub/club without falling over
47. Survive being interrogated
48. Act like a gentleman around women
49. Win at least one drinking game against your mates
50. Drive really fast but never get caught by a camera or radar gun
51. Never get lost while driving and NEVER ask for directions
52. Listen to your wife/girlfriend while watching the football
53. Remember your wife/girlfriends birthday and/or anniversary
54. Look at hot women without being caught by your significant other
55. Dress well when you need to and slob it up when you don't
56. Keep a covert porn stash where it can never be found (except by you)
57. Start a fire using nothing but two sticks and your ingenuity
58. Win at least one hand of poker against your friends
59. Fix a wobbly table without making the legs 6 inches shorter
60. Hussle somebody at a game of pool
61. Understand how to play and win on fruit machines
62. Make idle conversation with a hot blonde in a bar
63. Command a covert team of Special Forces soldiers in a paintball game
64. Open a stiff jar lid without blowing a blood vessel
65. Flare bottles and glasses like Tom Cruise in Cocktail
66. Carry a keg of beer to a party without dropping it
67. Pretend to like your wife/girlfriends friends
68. Thrash a few geeks on Call of Duty 4 on XBox Live
69. Know never to wear socks with sandals. Ever
70. Chop logs with an axe for firewood
71. Score at least 100 in a game of darts
72. Become a Centurion
73. Shave like your grandpa
74. NEVER forget Valentine's Day
75. Save a child from being hit by a speeding car
Today Is The Day
Go out and do something Mantastic!
Man-Laws
Latest from the unofficial International Council of Man Laws
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. No man shall be required to purchase a present for another man on his birthday. In fact, remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
3. Strongest bladder determines which pit stops you make, NOT the weakest.
4. You may ask the score of a game in progress, NOT who is playing.
5. You shall not date your buddy's sister
6. No Speedos... Ever
7. When slapping another man in the butt, YOU MUST say "good game" otherwise you are officially gay.
8. Never talk to the man in the stall next to you.
9. Never buy a car in the colors: pink, lime green, orange, purple, or sky blue.
10. There is no reason for a man to watch Ice Skating or Men's gymnastics. Ever.
11. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
Meet The Most Interesting Man In the World!
One Man-Tastic Studd
It has been said he found the fountain of youth, but didn't drink - because he wasn't thirsty.
Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body.
The last time he shaved, he donated three double-king sized comforters to a local orphanage.
His blood smells like cologne.
He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetized it.
If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away in a slight, but measurable way.
He is the life of parties he has never attended
If he were to punch you in the face, you'd have to fight off the urge to thank him.
Sharks Have a week dedicated to him.
Mantastic Priorities
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Hello Ladies! Old Spice Man is Here!
Not Feeling So Man-Tastic? - Just remember - It could always be worse!
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Mantastic Things online
Tell us what you think we should add to the list!
sweet site for fun date ideas. It seriously rocks. Check it out!!
Mantastic Snack Food Company -- Sunflower Seed Company - beerbaked seeds - spicy nacho etc... --> sunflower seeds
Have Something Man-Tastic to tell us?
Submit your Mantastic Stuff by email to: themantasticman@gmail.com
Please Notice:
The content on this web-page, if not our own original content, was submitted by our viewers - If you would like us to remove (or give proper credit) for any Item on our site please feel free to contact us at themantasticman@gmail.com - We are more than happy to do so!
If you have some funny stuff SHARE IT WITH US! funny websites, blogs, jokes... anything you've got!
